Having your best friend, sibling or favorite aunt marry you is one of the most personal choices you can make for the ceremony, and it costs far less than the average officiant fee (about $260 in The Knot 2026 Real Weddings Study). In most of the US it is entirely possible. Who can legally solemnize a marriage is set by each state, though, and a few states and cities add steps that catch people out: a state license, a court order, a county permit, or registration with a city clerk.
This guide explains the general rule, then goes through the exceptions we checked against official sources in October 2026. This is general information, not legal advice. The clerk who issues your marriage license is the final word.
The general rule
Most state marriage laws list who may perform a marriage: judges and certain public officials, plus clergy or officials of a religious organization. A friend usually qualifies under the second category by being ordained by a religious organization, and many organizations ordain people online for free. Some states also let a friend marry you through a one-time civil permit, and a few let couples marry themselves.
How the official pages phrase it varies. King County, Washington, for example, accepts "licensed and ordained clergy" of any religious organization, plus judges, and says clergy from other states may officiate if their organization permits it. But neither person getting married may perform the ceremony there. Read your own state's list before choosing a route.
Step by step: how to have a friend officiate
- Ask the clerk who will issue your license what they accept from a non-judge officiant. Do this before your friend gets ordained.
- Your friend gets ordained (or applies for a one-day permit if your state or county has one).
- Complete any local registration. See the table below: Hawaii, Nevada, New York City and Virginia all have one.
- Your friend learns the legal minimum. In most states that is a declaration of intent by both partners and a pronouncement, made in front of the required number of witnesses. Everything else (readings, stories, vows) is up to you.
- Sign and return the license on time. The officiant is usually responsible for this. Colorado gives 63 days after the ceremony, with a late fee of at least $20; King County wants the certificate back within 30 days.
States and cities with extra rules (October 2026)
| Place | What a friend needs | Status | Source |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hawaii | All marriage performers, officiants included, must be licensed by the State of Hawaii (Department of Health) before performing a marriage or civil union. Registration is online. | Verified | Hawaii DOH |
| Virginia | A minister needs an order from a circuit court (or its clerk) after showing ordination and being in regular communion with the religious society (Va. Code § 20-23). Non-ministers can be authorized by the circuit court clerk, who may require a $500 bond (§ 20-25). In Cramer v. Commonwealth (1974) Virginia's Supreme Court ruled against Universal Life Church ministers' authority to officiate, and some circuit courts (for example Fauquier County) say they do not recognize online ordinations. | Statute verified; local practice varies by court | Va. Code; Fauquier County Circuit Court |
| Nevada | Officiants need a certificate of permission from a county clerk (NRS chapter 122). In Clark County (Las Vegas) a friend can get a single-ceremony permit ($55): apply in the county where the wedding will take place, pass an online course, include a notarized character reference, apply no earlier than 3 months and at least 30 days before the ceremony. Officiating without authorization carries a civil penalty of up to $1,500. | Verified | NRS 122; Clark County Clerk |
| New York City | Anyone authorized to perform marriages must register with the City Clerk before officiating in the city (N.Y. Domestic Relations Law § 11-b). Alternatively, a friend 18+ can get a One-Day Marriage Officiant License ($25), which is available only after the couple has their license from a City Clerk office; the officiant doesn't have to live in NYC or New York State. | Verified | NY DRL § 11-b; NYC City Clerk |
| California (Los Angeles County) | Besides ordination, a friend can be sworn in as Deputy Commissioner for a Day ($75 in Los Angeles County). | Verified for LA County | LA County RR/CC fees |
| District of Columbia | A friend can register with the Superior Court Marriage Bureau as a temporary officiant ($25). DC also lets the couple self-officiate with no witnesses: list yourselves as the officiant on the license application and both apply in person. | Verified (DC Courts form and FAQ); check other officiant fees with the Bureau | DC Courts |
| Colorado | A marriage may be solemnized "by the parties to the marriage" themselves (C.R.S. 14-2-109), so no officiant is needed at all. Jefferson County notes a friend or relative may only solemnize if a legal or religious body authorizes them; otherwise the ceremony counts as self-solemnization. | Verified | C.R.S. 14-2-109; Jeffco |
| Pennsylvania | Many counties issue a self-uniting ("Quaker") license: no officiant, but two witnesses sign. Philadelphia charges $100 for it vs $90 for a regular license. Not every county issues one. | Verified for Philadelphia; other counties vary | City of Philadelphia |
| Wisconsin | Wis. Stat. 765.16 also recognizes a marriage the parties solemnize themselves by mutual declaration under the customs of a religious society one of them belongs to, in front of two competent adult witnesses. The standard route is an authorized officiant plus two adult witnesses. | Hedged: confirm the self-solemnization conditions with your county clerk | Wis. Stat. 765.16 |
Other states may have their own quirks. If yours isn't in the table, the county clerk's marriage page is the place to check.
Online ordination: what to know
- It is a religious credential. Your friend becomes a minister of a religious organization. Many clerks don't ask further questions; some courts do (see Virginia).
- Keep proof. A certificate or letter of ordination is cheap and useful, and some clerks and courts ask for it (Virginia's court order and Nevada's permit applications, for example).
- Registration is a separate step. Ordination doesn't replace Hawaii's state license, NYC's registration or Nevada's certificate of permission.
- Out-of-state friends. What matters is the law where the ceremony happens, not where your friend lives. In NYC, the One-Day Officiant License is explicitly open to people who don't live in New York.
What the officiant actually has to do
The legal part of a ceremony is short. Your friend needs to:
- confirm the license is valid for the date and place (licenses expire and some, like Cook County's, can only be used inside the issuing county; see our license guide);
- make sure the required witnesses are present: none in Colorado or for DC self-officiation, two in King County, Maricopa County and for Pennsylvania self-uniting licenses;
- lead you through a declaration of consent and pronounce you married;
- sign the license with you and the witnesses, and return it to the right office before the deadline.
Everything else, from the length of the ceremony to the tone of the stories, is up to you. Pair this with our vow-writing guide and the wedding timeline calculator to fit the ceremony into the day.
Cheaper than you think, but budget for it
A friend officiant usually costs nothing beyond the paperwork: $0–$75 in the cases above, plus postage for the license. Many couples thank them with a gift or by covering travel. The vendor tips calculator has a line for officiants if you want a benchmark.
If the legal side looks too complicated in your state, there is another option: marry legally at the courthouse first (courthouse wedding costs) and let your friend lead a symbolic ceremony on the wedding day.
FAQ
Is a wedding officiated by an online-ordained friend legal?
In most states, yes, provided the officiant meets the state's definition and completes any local registration. Virginia is the main exception to check: courts there have refused online ordinations.
Can we marry ourselves without an officiant?
Yes in Colorado (C.R.S. 14-2-109) and DC (name yourselves as officiant on the license application). Pennsylvania counties that issue self-uniting licenses also allow it, with two witnesses. Elsewhere, ask your clerk; King County, Washington, for example, says neither party may perform the ceremony.
How far ahead should my friend sort out the paperwork?
Start as soon as you have a date. Clark County wants the single-ceremony application at least 30 days before the wedding (but no earlier than 3 months). NYC's one-day license can't be requested until you have your marriage license.
Does the officiant need to be a US citizen or state resident?
Citizenship isn't a requirement in any of the rules we checked, but residence can matter. NYC's one-day license is open to non-residents. In Nevada the ongoing certificate comes from the clerk of the county where the officiant lives, while Clark County's single-ceremony permit is applied for in the county of the wedding. Hawaii and Virginia require their own license or court authorization.
Sources
- Hawaii Department of Health, Marriage Licenses (all performers must be licensed by the State; HRS § 572-12): https://health.hawaii.gov/vitalrecords/marriage-licenses
- Code of Virginia § 20-23 (ministers: circuit court order): https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title20/chapter2/section20-23/
- Code of Virginia § 20-25 (other persons authorized by the circuit court clerk; $500 bond): https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title20/chapter2/section20-25/
- Fauquier County Circuit Court Clerk, authorization of ministers (online ordinations not recognized, citing Cramer v. Commonwealth): https://www.fauquiercounty.gov/government/departments-a-g/circuit-court-clerk/marriages/authorization-to-perform-marriages/ministers
- Justia Verdict, overview of Cramer v. Commonwealth, 214 Va. 561 (1974): https://verdict.justia.com/2011/11/21/can-laypersons-ordained-online-as-universal-life-church-ministers-or-the-like-officiate-at-weddings
- Nevada Revised Statutes chapter 122 (certificate of permission to perform marriages): https://www.leg.state.nv.us/nrs/nrs-122.html
- Clark County Clerk, Marriage Officiants (single-ceremony option, timing, $1,500 civil penalty): https://www.clarkcountynv.gov/government/elected_officials/county_clerk/marriage-officiants
- Clark County Clerk, Fees ($55 single-ceremony permit): https://www.clarkcountynv.gov/government/elected_officials/county_clerk/fees
- N.Y. Domestic Relations Law § 11-b (registration with the NYC clerk): https://newyork.public.law/laws/n.y._domestic_relations_law_section_11-b
- NYC City Clerk, One-Day Marriage Officiant License ($25): https://cityclerk.nyc.gov/assets/cityclerk/downloads/pdf/web_one-day_marriage_officiant_FINAL_10-09-2024_403pm.pdf
- Los Angeles County RR/CC fees (Deputy Commissioner for a Day $75): https://lavote.gov/home/county-clerk/marriage-licenses-ceremonies/fees/fees
- DC Courts, Marriage Bureau (officiant applications, self-officiation): https://www.dccourts.gov/superior-court/superior-court-divisions/family-court-operations-division/marriage
- DC Courts, Temporary Officiant Application ($25): https://www.dccourts.gov/sites/default/files/pdf-forms/Temporary-Officiant-Application.pdf
- Colorado Revised Statutes § 14-2-109 (solemnization by the parties; 63 days; late fee): https://colorado.public.law/statutes/crs_14-2-109
- Jefferson County, Colorado, Marriage Licenses & Civil Unions: https://www.jeffco.us/1023/Marriage-Licenses-Civil-Unions
- City of Philadelphia, Get a marriage license (self-uniting license $100, two witnesses): https://www.phila.gov/services/permits-violations-licenses/get-a-license/get-a-marriage-license/
- Wisconsin Statutes ch. 765 and 2013 Wisconsin Act 372 (reference to solemnization by the parties): https://docs.legis.wisconsin.gov/2013/related/acts/372
- King County Recorder's Office, Marriage licensing (eligible officiants; 2 witnesses; 30-day return): https://kingcounty.gov/en/dept/executive-services/certificates-permits-licenses/records-licensing/recorders-office/marriage-licensing
- The Knot 2026 Real Weddings Study (officiant average $260): https://www.aol.com/articles/12-wedding-costs-knots-2026-163010000.html
- General information as of 27 October 2026, not legal advice. Confirm with the clerk who issues your license.